I mean if we’re gonna take this goofy post at face value and get addmitedly WAY too into the breakdown…
The context of if they are agitated or otherwise hostile for some external reason is actually kinda critically important here lol.
In a situation where they are just passively existing and you need to choose which species to just co-habitate with I’m choosing the monkey FOR SURE.
Any snake is going to be hard to spot, an ambush predator, specifically one (or 5!) as deadly and teritorial as a black mamba, is going to be nigh impossible to keep track of, sneaking around and catching prey off-guard is literally their whole thing. On top of that, while gorilla’s vary greatly in personality (just like humans) odds are decent that if you just leave them alone they will leave you alone.
Hell, maybe if you manage to find some fruit you might even be able to AT A GREAT DISTANCE establish some sort of basic report with the Silverback. Like, don’t pet the guy, but if they know you don’t have hostile intentions and occasionally provide snacks they probably will keep their “territory” reasonably small, letting you scavenge more areas.
But if the script is flipped and we are in a full blown survival setting? Where for one reason or another the animal(s) has our number from the moment we step foot in the mall? You are fucking insane if you choose the Silverback Gorilla.
Those things are ludicrously fast, Huge, have great senses, and will literally rip you in half. You would be dead within minutes of entering the mall no matter how far away that gorilla starts from you.
Snakes you can at the very least survive longer, if not outright just escape them and hide somewhere relatively hermeticly sealed. Maybe find a cabinet you can squeeze into and close the doors to let oxygen in but too small for snakes, maybe find a tall shelf or rafter and collapse the furniture used to climb on your way up to prevent the snakes climbing it as well.
A Silverback gorilla however is not only far faster both climbing and on land, but has enormous fucking gorilla arms to rip away any sort of door or cover you try to use to hide.
If we’re being generous and assuming this is taking place in the largest mall in the USA, The Mall of America, and the gorilla starts on the opposite side of the mall from where you enter. It would need to clear roughly 1 mile (assuming the 1 mile-ish exterior wall of the mall is circular (it’s not but just humor me), in order to get to you. A silverback gorilla’s top land speed is roughly 25mph, that means 2200 feet per minute, that means you have just over 2 minutes to get into a meat freezer or something equally tough before it catches you. So you not only need to know where one is, but it needs to be close enough to get to in such a short time. Hell no, I’m taking the snakes.
Snakes do not care for you. They will try to get away from you.
So as long as you don’t sit on one, you’re bueno.
Gorillas are so alike us and have social behaviour that it would find you in the mall (as it would definitely smell you at some point) and there’s really nothing you could do to appease it enough.
Looking a silverback in the eyes can be a death sentence, which you won’t be able to run away from.
You can get away from snakes with a brisk walk, and they would never challenge you unless cornered.
Also, you can fight a snake with a stick, whereas even if this mall was American and you had a handgun, you’d have a tough time taking down the gorilla before it ripped you to shreds.
There’s no scenario in which it’d be smarter to pick the gorilla. Not even one where it’s from a zoo.
I mean if we’re gonna take this goofy post at face value and get addmitedly WAY too into the breakdown…
The context of if they are agitated or otherwise hostile for some external reason is actually kinda critically important here lol.
In a situation where they are just passively existing and you need to choose which species to just co-habitate with I’m choosing the monkey FOR SURE.
Any snake is going to be hard to spot, an ambush predator, specifically one (or 5!) as deadly and teritorial as a black mamba, is going to be nigh impossible to keep track of, sneaking around and catching prey off-guard is literally their whole thing. On top of that, while gorilla’s vary greatly in personality (just like humans) odds are decent that if you just leave them alone they will leave you alone.
Hell, maybe if you manage to find some fruit you might even be able to AT A GREAT DISTANCE establish some sort of basic report with the Silverback. Like, don’t pet the guy, but if they know you don’t have hostile intentions and occasionally provide snacks they probably will keep their “territory” reasonably small, letting you scavenge more areas.
But if the script is flipped and we are in a full blown survival setting? Where for one reason or another the animal(s) has our number from the moment we step foot in the mall? You are fucking insane if you choose the Silverback Gorilla.
Those things are ludicrously fast, Huge, have great senses, and will literally rip you in half. You would be dead within minutes of entering the mall no matter how far away that gorilla starts from you.
Snakes you can at the very least survive longer, if not outright just escape them and hide somewhere relatively hermeticly sealed. Maybe find a cabinet you can squeeze into and close the doors to let oxygen in but too small for snakes, maybe find a tall shelf or rafter and collapse the furniture used to climb on your way up to prevent the snakes climbing it as well.
A Silverback gorilla however is not only far faster both climbing and on land, but has enormous fucking gorilla arms to rip away any sort of door or cover you try to use to hide.
If we’re being generous and assuming this is taking place in the largest mall in the USA, The Mall of America, and the gorilla starts on the opposite side of the mall from where you enter. It would need to clear roughly 1 mile (assuming the 1 mile-ish exterior wall of the mall is circular (it’s not but just humor me), in order to get to you. A silverback gorilla’s top land speed is roughly 25mph, that means 2200 feet per minute, that means you have just over 2 minutes to get into a meat freezer or something equally tough before it catches you. So you not only need to know where one is, but it needs to be close enough to get to in such a short time. Hell no, I’m taking the snakes.
Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
Dude.
Snakes do not care for you. They will try to get away from you.
So as long as you don’t sit on one, you’re bueno.
Gorillas are so alike us and have social behaviour that it would find you in the mall (as it would definitely smell you at some point) and there’s really nothing you could do to appease it enough.
Looking a silverback in the eyes can be a death sentence, which you won’t be able to run away from.
You can get away from snakes with a brisk walk, and they would never challenge you unless cornered.
Also, you can fight a snake with a stick, whereas even if this mall was American and you had a handgun, you’d have a tough time taking down the gorilla before it ripped you to shreds.
There’s no scenario in which it’d be smarter to pick the gorilla. Not even one where it’s from a zoo.
I wanna see how fucking fast you walk. Do you have any idea how fast snakes can be?