Talk about your ex. Or at least that’s a pro tip that I like to hear often
If the ex somehow comes up in conversation, just say “we just weren’t compatible and broke things off amicably, and are both better people now” and leave it at that
Or my ax
Show up with your wife.
And kids
Well, I (unintentionally) called someone ugly after she removed her mask, there was no second date
How do you do that unintentionally?? Did you just blurt it out? Did she remove the mask and you couldn’t hold in an “eugh”? I must know!
It went something like:
- You had never seen me without it, right?
- No, you look older
(Brief awkward silence)
- I feared you would say that
- (freezes)
Then she told me she is insecure about that, I think she is actually like 3 years older than most of her classmates and some mock her because of that.
I didn’t think she was ugly, to me I was just pointing something out, and only realized I probably insulted her until days later. And I’m pretty sure I said more stupid things, if you want i‘ll try to remember.
Also, if something reads weird, my native language is not english.
Visibly and audibly throw up in your mouth after she removes the mask.
Probably something along the lines of “you look better with the mask on!”
i concur. i too wanna know.
“That mask really suits you”
“You can keep your mask on, I actually prefer that”
get pregnant
Fart in their general direction.
That’s a sign of true love
Unfortunately not on the first date… No.
Especially if it smells of elderberries
I was gonna say take a dump on their bumper but yours works too
Insist on going to Dennys and then throw a fit about the lack of vegan options at Dennys.
Using your phone constantly
Shit on the table
So this was what the poop post was for.
Idk what you mean by “poop post”, but you reminded me of a story my grandma told me about when she was a little girl. She’s from Cuba, and her parents would sometimes take her to visit some distant relatives which were basically mountain people. Like, straight up neanderthal living-in-the-wilderness type stuff.
She said that they had a “poop stick”, which was like a tree branch they would use to wipe their ass after shitting. It was a community thing too, like a public toilet. Everyone in the village would share it, just rub their shitty ass on it after crapping into (I assume) a hole in the ground.
My grandma also likes to make things up to be funny, so idk how true that is.
Complain about things.
Unless it’s something you can keep lighthearted, and maybe make a point with in a funny way. But just bitterly bitching about something in your life is probably the worst (normal) thing you can do. That or treat service staff badly.
Talk about zodiac signs for an hour. Yeah I’m looking at you Laura, fuck you and your zodiac signs. I don’t care if mercury is retrograde.
Order the lobster. Or you’ll have to put out
Not say anything.
Went on a date with a girl I thought was pretty cute, and I heard she had the hots for me. So at first I had high hopes. NGL, I like mysterious but that was too much. All I got was variations of a shrug.
I’m not proud of what I did, but I made some excuse and just left her alone. I simply couldn’t stand it.
I had her come to my apartment and half ignored her while playing D&D online with my family. Then I took her to a wedding for free food.
We are married with 2 kids and my family told her that even if we break up she still has to visit them.
Don’t inspire fear or disgust, that’s the basics.
Don’t start planning a family
