Hi. I’ve been afraid of all non-human life since before I could remember. I got past it, mostly, but I’ve never gotten over the fact that animals can’t speak what they mean.

I know that sounds stupid, but fear is irrational and I accept my own.

Anyways, my girlfriends sister has 5 cats that she’s looking to adopt away. I’ve thought recently how nice it would be to have a cat, but I’m scared. I lost my job recently. I’m scared to adopt a cat we can’t take care of. My girlfriends scared I won’t be able to make money to survive. Hell, I’m scared about that too. I’ve been going to therapy for half a year now, and I’ve had a LOT of self discovery along the way.

I think I’m different from the afraid-of-cats-and-all-animals-including-fish-and-hamsters?!?! That I am.

Can you please teach me how cats think? I really want to get a cat, but I didn’t before I got drunk, and I am fishing for support in getting over my fear. I will most likely not end up getting a cat. Can you please teach me facts about how cats work anyways? They don’t have to be general, even just your owns. I’ve seen many cat videos, I get the gist. Kinda. They land so quick and I’m fine getting scratched, but I guess… just not dominated by an animal I can’t understand?!

I don’t know.

Cat facts please? No pressure. Thank you for writing and/or reading, I love you for either.

  • walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz
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    6 months ago

    Owning an animal is a commitment which often requires money: food, toys, vet bills, etc. If you’re worried about yourself surviving, getting a cat will only make things worse. Which is bad for you, but equally bad for the cat.

    All is not lost however. You should volunteer at your local shelter. They literally need people to just sit and pet cats. It would also give you an opportunity to learn their body language so you understand them better.

    • SloppySol@lemm.eeOP
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      6 months ago

      That is great advice. A thing to do, and progress to reach for. Thank you. I will not make the decision to get a cat a hasty one, for all our sakes.

  • August27th@lemmy.ca
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    6 months ago

    I can’t help you with your animal fear, but I’ll give you a higher priority reason to avoid a cat for now.

    I’ll give what will probably be an unpopular opinion; cats (and pets in general for that matter) are a luxury… item. I have 3 of them, and I would never recommend one to a person who is struggling financially and/or has lost their job. Their food and vet bills are not cheap, and even a cat that seems perfectly fine can suddenly have an issue that requires an expensive vet visit. As they age, they will inevitably have health issues, which not only adds more expense, but increases the rate at which expenses accumulate. They can also damage things and ruin things, which adds further expense.

    All of this is fine, if you can afford it. However I don’t think very many people actually sit down and work out the numbers. On top of food, litter, and equipment costs, IMO people should be saving ~$70/a month for the first 5 years, then maybe half that after that if you didn’t have to use any of it, to be prepared for big vet events. It sucks not being able to afford the care your pet needs.

    Further, I have found that having multiple cats does not decrease the amount of expense per cat due to expected efficiencies from overlap. There are subtle things that accumulate like cleaning expenses and drain on your time and greater resources. I wish I only had one cat, honestly.

    People say you can’t put a price on them because of their cuteness and company and what have you. But believe me, you can if your cat(s) turn out to be absolute dicks, but nobody talks about that either, IMO because of some kind of Stockholm syndrome, sunk cost combo. People generally gloss over the shitty parts of pet ownership.

    Don’t do it. Be well-off first. Your GF’s sister is probably finding this out.

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    There are actually two very good behavioral books by the same author:

    The Hidden Life of Dogs

    https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/elizabeth-marshall-thomas/the-hidden-life-of-dogs/

    The Tribe of Tiger

    https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/elizabeth-marshall-thomas/the-hidden-life-of-dogs/

    I’ve had many cats over the years and no two have been the same.

    There was the “Evil Psycho Flying Cat” who was a little murder machine. Going after anything that got in the house on legs or wings, turning her attention to ankles when she got bored:

    Whisper, who would howl and howl if he didn’t get what he wanted, then whisper “meow” in front of people like “Yeah, man, I don’t know who was making that noise, clearly it was not me…”

    He also demanded his time outside and would express his displeasure by shitting in the bathroom sink if he didn’t get enough of it.

    Poor Max was terrified of doorways. He couldn’t just walk into a room, he would literally hurl himself over the threshold like “floor is lava!”

    Things to know:

    That internet thing about boxes? Totally true. Want a happy cat? Put out a box.

    Cats are obligate carnivores, they HAVE to eat meat, but they will also be DESPERATELY interested in whatever you’re eating. Clearly it’s better if you have it and they are not subtle about stealing food.

    As they get older, they sleep A LOT:

    • cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world
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      4 months ago

      Your descriptions and pics made my day. 😁

      I’m curious what the dish is that was cooked in the banana leaves. First I thought it was a sweet sticky rice with toasted coconut topping, but when I zoomed in it looked like eggplant?

  • Shihali@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    Many cats are demonstrative. Meowing + running off = “follow me!” Meowing + food bowl = “feed me!” Meowing + walking up to you = “pet me!”

  • emergencyfood@sh.itjust.works
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    6 months ago

    In your current situation, it would probably not be a great idea to have a cat dependent on you. As someone else said, you can try volunteering at a shelter (if there is one) or feed street cats (if there isn’t one).

    As for how they think, cats love food, and most like being petted. However, they are very shy animals, so unless you want to get scratched, it is better to let the cat come to you. Feeding them, sitting still, not speaking loudly, and slowly blinking at them can calm them down.

    The majority of cats like to be gently stroked on the sides of the face and the neck, and do not like being touched on their bellies, feet or tails (unless they’ve known you for a while).

    If you are the only person feeding the cat, make sure to include some meat or fish. Adult cats should not be given milk, chocolates, spices or too much salt.

  • SloppySol@lemm.eeOP
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    6 months ago

    “Cats are instinctual.” Eh? Yeah? 9 lives and very soft? Ehhhhh?