My financial advisor is an octopus

It takes an acidic soil to get that blue

Says someone who’s never been to Ohio before. Their state motto is “abandon hope all ye who enter here”

I let the squirrels have at it, even giving them a hole to get the seeds. Then when it starts rotting into the compost can. I gotta have that pumpkin spice dirt.

98 million are bots

They wanted to put it inside the unit originally

Well did you see how it sucked on his hand though

Apparently masterbating 34 times in a single day is one time too many

34x28x16 @ 400 p.s.i. is that enough information for you?

To retire on a farm upstate, unless my mom lied to me 🤔

In the comics they are always stealing things from the news stand and stashing it there. It’s Superman’s 2nd greatest weakness.

I thought the deal I got on my KuKluxKlean was too good to be true!

The 5th circuit includes Louisiana, Texas, and Mississippi so they can go fuck themselves. You think I’ll live by the opinion of some backwater states? Only a corrupt supreme court would uphold this ruling-ohhh fuckity fuck fuck!

I got spiders living in mine. Keeps the bugs out.

They look young until they turn 4000 then it’s downhill fast.

Dumbest car design yet Elon. Congrats. Nothing says cab like a coupe design with gullwing doors.

You wot mate?

Are you gay: 1 time

You are going to need a very big trebuchet, possibly the biggest ever. Watch out for fanatics.

True neckbeards are born with it. It’s only the posers that get theirs by injecting PFAS into their balls.