–Check the bottom of my own toaster.

Thank you for improving my life a little, fellow dumbass.

Well, it was a fun childhood. Plenty of other stories.

My mother was a professional hot air balloon pilot, and I was her ground crew chief. We had a bunch of regular crew members, and I was shocked by one guy who confessed that he had fallen in love with our hot air balloon. He asked permission to spend a day in our garage, and explicitly told us he wanted to unpack the envelope (the balloon part) and fuck it. He also said he had been having dreams of fucking the suede and padding that lined the top of the rattan gondola.

He was never called to crew again.

Been on a warm brie with apples and prosciutto kick lately.

Ahh, yes. The refined taste of feet, but in a good way, somehow.

Micropterus salmoides

Go on, Google it.

Loved Ferguson. His books are worth a read, too.

I’ll give you two, one living, one passed.

Randy Feltface is great with crowd work.

Mitch Hedberg was a genius with delivery, and even though I’ve seen most of his recorded work multiple times, I still laugh out loud.

Because no one would treasure a truly eternal life.

Got three of those monster sized books–

One each movies, music, and software. Plus two shelves of blurays and a further three old spindles of software.

You can pry my physical media out of my cold, dead, hand.

60 miles away from the broadcast center, but luckily in a very flat area. I still have an old-school antenna set up on a tower and rotor, and can pull in between 25-30 stations if you include the digital substations.

I got this set up from Radio Shack in the early 80s. Cable made me regret it for a long time, but let’s hear it for laziness allowing me to get good use out of it since I clipped all but internet service.

Bonus: you can split out the signal and hook the antenna up to home stereos, and get TONS of FM stations that even my car won’t pick up.

Old stuff gets useful again! Yay!

Indiana and Wisconsin USA here. Approaching 50, and learned back in high school, as well as driving old tractors. My first car, a classic even when I got it, was a 63 Chevy Bel Aire manual. Drove manuals all through college and didn’t buy an automatic until 2013, when the type of vehicle I needed didn’t come in a manual.

I really miss driving stick, especially in snowy Wisconsin winters.

You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.

At random times whenever you are traveling in any vehicle, you simultaneously feel a sneeze coming on, and yet have to pee a little bit too. However, you can neither sneeze nor pee until you are out of the vehicle.

Inconvenient on a bus/train or as a passenger, deadly if you’re driving. Bicycles are right out, I suppose.

Get to know a taxi driver. Ask locals where to go and what to see. Stop by a visitors bureau or welcome center. Hit up a local colleges student center.

When I traveled a lot, I used to start with the local phone book. Not only did it have business information, but government info, and a section devoted to local arts and museums. These days I (gasp) talk to people at pubs or bars or coffee shops. Obviously, if they are annoyed, I let them be, but you’d be surprised how many people are happy to brag about their community.

Alright, that’s it. We are taking this outside.

I have no idea what we will do with it when we get there, but I’m pretty sure it involves fireworks and fingerprinting…

Humans gotta human, and I’ll fight anyone that says otherwise.

The princess bride, Stripes, Airplane, Top Secret, The Room, Birdemic, a few others.

I had an old flip phone that came with a demo of Uno. I could play a single hand, then reset the demo and play again and again. There was only a nag screen when you were exiting/restarting the demo, and not a single other ad.

Passed hours with that little game.

I miss mobile gaming when it was like that.

The fact that they have a record.

Look for a pattern, not a single instance. And yet companies and people hold bad decisions of the past against most folks.