mmmmmmmm apple pickin

shit, im sorry you have to deal with that. :(

you should grab the police officer’s gun

(im sorry, im so sorry i couldn’t help that one please don’t hate me)

obsessive compulsive disorder includes constant intrusive thoughts?

edit: holy shit TIL

skeleton run or bust

and their less popular cousin, yakisoba westerns

and they loved him, for he did not use a watermark

found the bmw driver at heart

holy shit this broke me 10/10

bethesda announces game concept.

people freak.

bethesda announces game. 

people hype.

bethesda starts hyping the game.

people go fucking nuts hyping the game as a result. their social media team plants those seeds to make it look organic.

a year or more of speculation occurs.

todd howard being his little schmuck self comes out and boasts about their new game.

people lose their god damn minds.

whispers of shitty gameplay start occurring closer to launch.

the masses tell those people to fuck off how could they know, dishonest review etc etc.

the big names in game reviews all review it and give it out of the park amazing reviews.

people go batshit crazy. people are out in the streets killing their parents for a chance at the new bethesda god game.

the game is released and is somewhat playable but jesus fuck is it lacking, it’s buggy, and every character looks like they’ve been updated from skyrim graphics of yore. the story sucks. the game play is empty but goddamn is there a lot to explore.

everyone rushes in like a madman.

everyone realizes the gameplay sucks.

people start bitching.

others say “oh don’t worry, DLC and user created mods will fill the game out nicely.”

years pass.

the unpaid modding community pours their heart and soul into making the game not fucking suck.

after all the DLC has come out (all with mostly positive or mixed reviews on steam) the game will go dark for a year or so.

todd howard wakes from his capitalist vampire coma needing fresh life force. the blood money of his unsuspecting idiot fans.

todd howard makes it into the office and says we could make a new game or we can milk this game for the next decade and a half. quick come up with names to rerelease the game under. game of the year edition. complete edition. master edition. elite edition. remastered. remastered complete. anything works!

over the course of the next three decades, todd howard is fed the blood of bethesda’s fan base.

he is swollen, like a fat tick upon his harkonen throne, waiting to burst.

“the people. they call for a NEW game”, he says, a devilish sneer contorts his face.

and the cycle continues.

and these fucking idiots. every goddamn time.

edit: cancel that. i’m an idiot

i mean it looks like that in some parts for about a month as wild flowers come in, but on the whole, yep.

right? the fact that someone took the time to make it and then post it online.

fuckin chef’s kiss

/me takes a long drag of his cigarette

deleted by creator

IIRC from the reddit thread i saw it in, someone translated it, and it is 100% accurate and talks about building a life for his family out in the west, building the railroads. the work is hard but the people are good to me. i wish you all well and miss you much. that kinda thing.

Corn me up, snake.

fr

“why did he sit down on it to shit even with the seat up?”

the person monitoring it hasn’t been able to sleep for ten days since the no seat incident.

to know all the answers is… forbidden knowledge