It’s so crazy how it looks like they want to double-team you but they are legitimately just good friends and it isn’t a weird homophobic thing.

Is it? You didn’t use any.

I’m still referring to my need to steal everything that is not both nailed down and on fire.

…nailed down or on fire is fine.

Fuck I want a cigarette now.

I am absolutely the bunny. Because I’m moisturized and just had my hair done, but I’m also completely done.

Binged (the search engine) and binged (the eating disorder/content consumption method) look identical and this fucks me up.

I got a warning on an ADHD sub reddit for posting too much.

It’s the biggest reason I stopped making memes.

Appreciate it but your comment got auto corrected on two instances of “causal” to “casual” by commie.

I’m allergic to corn, so I don’t know if this is true, but if I pooped a food that was still whole I’d consider not eating it again.

The last time my boyfriend heard “colder than a witch’s tit” he reached over and touched my boob ans said, “Well they feel pretty warm to me so you need a better system of measurement.”

I’m probably gonna marry him.

I really want to do the Mediterranean diet but my foot is currently in a cast and I get my groceries done once a week and veggies around here straight up do not last… so I’m struggling.

I would unironically enjoy reading this. And satirical buying merchandise and putting a Je-Who fish on my car.

This just solved it for me. That is exactly it. I’ve been angry at stairs my whole life and now I realize it’s because I go up them as fast as I walk- which is considerably faster than most people I know.

Downright folksy.

Having two people’s heads that close while trying to lick the same thing is entirely about fantasy and not at all about comfort.

Ooh, excellent one.

You can make it from milk and butter if I remember. You can make it from double cream (heavy whipping cream in the US).

And I would love to just buy a jar but I can’t find them anywhere except online!! It’s such a shame because I grew up enjoying it, and went a few years too busy to have anything with it, and then when I went to buy it… nowhere.

Eta: If someone has a solution for me in the US thst doesn’t involve paying a fortune online, I am all ears! More ears than anything really.

Make an assessment.

I’ve been mad about UHT milk ever since I discovered I can’t make clotted cream with the ultra high temperature stuff. I don’t want unpastuerized milk but ffs, let me have some texture I can work with!

I agree. I think it’s worse than we already know.