I leave the whole thing set up in the guest room so I don’t have to mess with it, and I’m a woman, so most of my dressier tops are less complicated than a men’s button-down. I plug it in, wash my face, and it’s ready to go, and it really is only about 2 minutes to actually iron. Maybe twice that if it’s a particularly finicky fabric (which I’m slowly eliminating from my wardrobe).

Man, I iron all the time. I’m not like, ironing underwear like a crazy person, but I have a lot of shirts that would be straight up unacceptable to wear to work without it. It takes like 2 minutes.

It’s definitely way less work. If you get hired for an hour, you’re pretty much expected to be fully engaged in, if not sex, then at least being entertaining in some way. With the type of sex work she did, she was never getting paid for time spent sleeping or eating (and definitely not hanging out and shopping), unless that was someone’s kink, I guess. I had a series of sugar daddies in my early 20s, and don’t let anyone tell you that’s not sex work, and I definitely made less per hour than a more traditional prostitute, but I also put in a lot less energy. Plus, it came with a lot more perks.

Somewhere, Brennan Lee Mulligan is crying and he doesn’t know why.

Many years ago, I worked in a call center. I was sitting with someone who was new helping them take calls and both of our headsets were plugged into the phone. The trainee was helping a store employee and she was just being awful to him. While she went to get something from the customer, I muted the line and said, “God, what a bitch!” except my finger was hovering over the button and I hit it just in time for her to hear me say bitch. I fully panicked and hung up on her. Nobody ever said anything to either of us and this was back when landlines would occasionally cross, so hopefully she thought that’s what happened since she hadn’t heard my voice up until then.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s the origin of why I still don’t trust mute or hold to this day. I’m not talking shit until I know that call is disconnected.

Oh I’m the opposite - I’m not a very good cook because I don’t enjoy doing it. I’m pretty good with flavors because I’m not afraid of seasonings, but my knife skills are bordering on Worst Cook in America levels. The abuse I have wrought upon poor, innocent, delicious onions is a crime.

Also, if you like the fried onions, have you seen the jalapeno version? So good. I’ve started putting them on everything.

I’m the worst about this. My mom and I will try a new restaurant and I’ll be talking about “oh this needs acid, that’s the perfect amount of heat, blah blah.” Meanwhile, I’m over here “cooking” noodles with a pile of kimchi every other day because that’s all I ever have in the fridge.

Coffee, hash browns, eggs. Then I spend my remaining money on hot sauce or green chile.

Hardness of the Sexbots?

Depends on if you care about making set playlists. That’s the feature that generally costs more - Pandora is like $5 a month without that option, and $11 with it. I only listen in the car and don’t care about picking exactly what songs are on my stations, so I have the cheaper one, but for other people, that wouldn’t cut it.

I woke up at 6 to get a head start on desecration, but then I had a bbq to attend later so I got way off schedule. I really need to be on the ball today if I want to destroy the sanctity of straight marriage and groom children by telling them that they’re valid and deserving of love no matter how they identify. It’s a lot of work for a Sunday, honestly.

🚮

Ugh Joffree is clearly some kind of hellspawn.

There has got to be someone who sucks less than James Charles for this. Shit, I’d take someone who knows how to color match.

Oh I tried, but he undermined everything I worked on. I went home to work every weekend so she’d pee on the carpet and he’d just leave it until I got back, so the idea that peeing in the apartment was bad never really stuck. He let her chew a red marker all over the floor, too, and when I walked in to see her doing it and him in the couch ignoring her, he sat up and was like, “oh, uh, bad dog!” It was impossible.

Oh my god, finally. I’ve been wearing my Internet Cringe Police shirt all week and you’re the only one who has thanked me for protecting the American people with my life or my wifi or whatever.

My area has near constant posts about a vehicle driving by someone’s house, accompanied by blurry footage of absolutely nothing of note, and half the commenters are convinced that it’s for a crime and the other half are like, “you know this is a public street with other residents, right?” God forbid a realtor ever takes photos for comps. It’s the fucking mafia, out to steal all of Janice’s lawn ornaments, obviously.

It’s just an absolute black hole of suck, but I work for a nearby city, so it’s a good way to find out if there are resident concerns that aren’t batshit crazy, so I keep my account active. I can only tolerate about 5 minutes at a time, though.

Some did point that out - about 200 other comments fell all over themselves to thank him and blame “kids these days,” though, so it was pretty much the worst. My ex-husband spent a couple decades in the military, and he was suuuper uncomfortable being thanked, so I know that attitude is by no means universal. It’s just cringey as hell.

Brb, bout to post this on nextdoor and watch all my neighbors fight.

Seriously though, this dude made a post on there today about how he’s “been wearing his army gear the last few days and no one has thanked him for his service.” I would walk into traffic if I was ever that embarrassing.

Waffles. But my roommate in college bought a puppy before the summer, named it Waffles, took her home, and came back in the fall with an untrained dog that peed in the house and he never cleaned it up. Poor Waffles, she didn’t ask to be raised by terrible owners but I ended up moving out early because of her.