I think you have a typo in the image link you posted on reddit explaining the fediverse. The one you posted in your comment above works, but not the reddit comment. I think you have an extra \ after the Hoc5dXU on the reddit link. Awesome explanation image, though. Did you make it?

Are you trying to tell me that’s not a trash can?

And if we can’t trust Weird AL for advice, then who can we trust?

I recommend eating a lot of cheese and absolutely NO fiber. Not sure if it will make you sweat less, but I’m pretty sure if I ate only cheese for 3 days, it wouldn’t be too hard to wait till the end of it to poop. In fact, I may need some help at that point… maybe you should eat some fiber like a couple hours before you do plan on trying to poop, and also drink lots of water at that point, too. I personally find cheese very “helpful” in getting myself constipated, and fiber + water to be a great way to smoothen the pooping process.