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You are correct, hexbear did defederate from sh.itjust.works about a week after federating with them, so the vote became moot.
The reason you gave is part of the reason hexbear admins gave, but I would take what they say with a grain of salt. I’ve seen people say things like “being trans in thoughts is a much different experiece than being trans in the way you dress, act, and look” and hexbear users will call that transphobic/uninclusive, as well as generally being vitriolic and unpleasant.
As an example, a post where someone says “Biden brings up minimum wage increase and asks other democrats to speak up” will have several comments from hexbear users saying “capitalist bootlickers defending Biden should be shot like the vermin they are.” Maybe some users harassed hexbear users for these comments? I personally didn’t see any but it’s definitely possible.
On the flip side of this, it makes me sad that using fancy words usually just makes you seem pretentious in normal conversations, which has made a lot of cool/interesting words unusable for me. Even words that used to be pretty common, like insipid, will have most people look at you like 🤨