( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) How many ass slices per person?

Sloth? You’re gonna live with me now. I’m gonna take care of ya, cause I love ya, you piece of shit!

I quit 3.5 years ago using that book and have had 0 cravings since.

Agreed, and I would think XP was the stubbornly popular version. People were on there for years after end of support.

A large amount of people still clinging to Win 10 because the only other (Windows) option is upgrading to 11 doesn’t mean it’s “popular” so much as it means people want 11 even less than they wanted 10.

But apparently you DO need an Apple ID to access an Apple Notes file that was shared to your Android by your crazy ex who doesn’t know that without an iPhone you won’t be able to read their undoubtedly unhinged, rambling guilt trip. Thanks Apple!

You make me perfect

Help me become somebody else

Well, see, Pandemic is under the Bidemic umbrella! So is Polydemic but they’re frequently forgotten…

If X becomes XXX does he gain more power? The more times his favorite letter appears, the stronger his dipshittery becomes!

And your health insurance!

I was outside, next to a park on a lake, and I mentioned to someone the lack of ambient bugs. He was insistent that there were bugs around somewhere but it took me several minutes to locate ONE and it was the only one I could find.

No dragonflies, ladybugs, bees, wasps, butterflies, beetles, grasshoppers… I couldn’t even see any ants, flies, or mosquitos. The one I found looked similar to a gnat. It’s spring here. There should be bugs.

The gay agenda’s got axes now?

Turning the frogs gay and then giving them axes!!

“…and when you’re a TSA Agent, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the dick! You can do anything.”

But what about when you start wanting to know about life’s mysteries?

Google isn’t staffed by geologists; how are they to know what number of rocks you should eat each day?

Google search itself doesn’t have a functioning set of human organs; without AI how would they know how much urine to drink for kidney stones?

Without AI it might’ve taken another century before we got spicy gasoline pasta recipe, and you think that isn’t a problem?

I paid real money for a wall calendar that had the months of Feburary and Ooctober.

50 % off birds

Well you can’t expect the clearance birds to be as nice as the full price ones!

Please select all images containing TRAIN

mollusks and milk

“When’s the sequel?”

So he named his company after the world’s only natural nuclear reactor in Oklo

Am I the only one who gets tired of having search results (which are already terrible) get even worse when capitalists take names for their products and companies from native languages and locations, making it harder to find information about the pre-existing stuff?

I’m interested in Gabon’s natural nuclear reactor, not in some stupid saltman company.

It’s ok, there’s still other companies to choose from. Twitter can develop your brain implant instead!