Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

I don’t care how they’re picked, you generally shouldn’t feed peppers and spices that you’d use in chili. And never onions, garlic, or grapes regardless of the intended application.

These rules come from the same people who put a slice of cheese on apple pie. “It adds a savory quality to all the sweetness.” Fuck off, it adds the taste of cheese to apple pie. People also like mint and chocolate, maybe you should eat some M&Ms coated in Vicks vaporub

Chili is steaming dog food with too many spices and onions for dogs to eat. If you think your chili tastes better with beans or even cinnamon, then get down with your bad self. Anyone who tells you otherwise is welcome to not eat your chili.

“Syrup doesn’t belong on waffles/french toast”
“Cookies shouldn’t have raisins”
“You shouldn’t put butter on your tortillas”
Fuck all y’all, I’mma eat my food how it tastes good and you can maybe chime in once you got a show on the food network

^I’m a Texan who will eat your chili with or without beans and I approve this message^

“Temporarily closed”

I’m sorry, friend. You didn’t deserve to be called that…

Do it. I fucking dare you. It’ll be fun to watch a media powerhouse and a douche meth lab burn each other down.

Demon wranglers

Oh yeah? Then why am I always angry at everyone all the time?!

Boom. Scienced!

\s

All of my dogs have loved our current vet. I’ve tried a couple other vets that were closer to me at different times, and my current vet is the only one that our dogs have been excited to visit in the 20 years since we met her.

https://youtu.be/UOsQ2epsI2M

In toasty we trust

You might wanna narrow your scope on that wish or else you’re gonna get some early homosapien fetish/murder info.

I’d give you gold, but all I’ve got is lead and a particle accelerator. Good luck!

It’s really easy to tell the difference. The jellyfish is the one that hurts you immediately when you try to swallow it and the plastic bag is the one that causes problems in 1.5-3 minutes with catastrophic problems around 10 minutes.

Are you suggesting that we should burn down companies and factories? Cuz I’d never agree to meet you at a specific time and place so that we could disassemble the means of production and effectively delete entire toxic cogs of the economy.

In fact, tell me precisely where and when you plan on meeting so that I can definitely avoid you.

Couldn’t beer further from the truth. Son, I am not disappoint

No worries. I’ve never been more proud of you

Only one, but he’s considering eating a second one for an afternoon snack

I saw Frakes at ACCC a few years ago, that was pretty cool to attend his talk. Billy Zane was my favorite, though. As for LeVar, dude seems so cool, he’d probably sit and sing with you.

Worst experience I’ve had at a con: excitedly meeting Jaimie Kennedy (I was literally the only person to walk his queue) and finding out that he’s a mega-asshole. Also smells like an asshole. I threw away his autograph in front of him and told him that he lost his only fan at the entire con.

HOLY SHIT, FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER CARED ABOUT!

I wanted to go to Space Con and decided that it was simply too expensive, especially just a couple of weeks after going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show live. I hope it’s amazing and that the entire guest list actually shows up. A few years ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rick Moranis showed up for their first cons and everyone assumed that Alamo City Comic Con was just pulling our leg, so I wouldn’t totally discount your favorite celebrities being there.

And I’m up late cuz it’s the weekend and I gotta find some way to fuck myself over. Might as well be fucking up my sleep cycle.

The Freeman Coliseum isn’t way too far from me, so DM me if you wanna meet up and mutually murder each other or say hi or something.