Guys are put in a position where they have to put themselves out there and face rejection. it’s obviously becoming harder to connect with women given that a larger and larger percentage of men under 21 report being virgins every year.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it’s all your fault and you’re a shitty person.
I think I would have just ended up killing myself if I was a teenager today.
Virginity among women hasn’t climbed in nearly the same way, most men 21 and under also report having never been in a relationship, young men’s mental health has declined more than any other demographic, and incel culture seems to be on the rise.
Women were under the opposite pressure: to stay a virgin. Also, some people don’t want to be in relationships. In middle/high school, a lot of dating was obviously performative and they were only “dating” because of social pressures to do so. I’m no longer a teen, so I have no clue what the pressures are now. It could be the pressures are still there and more people are failing to meet them (hence, the incel community). I know they’re not completely gone, because I still sometimes hear about things like people dating because they want to have someone for prom or whatever.
Given how complex mental health is, trying to tie it to just one thing that correlates with it is not very convincing. Likewise, even if incel culture is on the rise, it seems much more reasonable to connect that to the growth of the internet and the niche communities it allows to fester and become visible.
A big part of this is moving everything online, it makes the available pool too wide and doesn’t allow for things to be forgotten as easily. Meeting people in person allows the awkward stuff to be forgotten and the highlights remembered. It can still go terribly wrong, but there was more meaningful interaction.
Yeah the world is super fucked up. I met almost all my previous hook ups (along with my GF) in real life.
Also according to my single friends it got infinitely worse during covid. Although I’m in my late twenties and almost everyone over thirty says it’s not super hard or anything. I don’t know if that’s a generational difference or old stereotypes are actually true.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it’s all your fault and you’re a shitty person.
My point was that the pickup artists who claim that they are helping or empowering young men are in fact not helping them to get a healthy attitude towards the other sex or enabling them to be in healthy relationships. Instead (most of) the tips of the pickup artists are in contra productive and will make you sad, angry and alone. I don’t think it’s in their interest that you get healthy relationships, because that would mean that they would loose a client.
And I also do not think it’s a good idea to suggest suicide to troubled teenagers.
I’m not suggesting suicide, I’m saying I would personally have not been able to manage as a boy in today’s world because of how fucked up this is.
The way I read it was that anyone who has trouble with women is doing something stupid like this. A lot of normal guys just don’t have a real chance these days.
Women had to adjust to be expected to work and do housework, still make less money per hour of labor, still represent the minority of ceos/leaders/comfy asshole billionaires, way more likely to be the ones in danger physically when picking a partner incorrectly, but go on guys about how life is so hard for you. Sounds like most of you are considerably less able to adapt than the women around you.
here’s why I honestly think it keeps going this way:
men keep seeking symapthy for this in public, from mixed gender groups including women.
women have no reason to be sympathetic to men in this case, as they have already had it shitty and these same men didn’t care when it wasn’t their problem
some of these same men seeking sympathy are actively blaming women and saying that the fix to their problems is to go back to the 1950s, when women were routinely lobotomized for men’s convenience (the guys pitching 1950s USA always leave that bit out).
Writing off an entire gender because of the actions of some is absolutely insane. Men represent 50 percent of the population. In any other context that would be considered bigoted without a second thought.
Likewise, the idea that it’s the same men is straight up fiction. A teenager today was born in the 2000s. They have literally nothing to do with historical sexism.
Finally the “I had to suffer so it’s your turn” is beyond shitty. All that mentality is going to do is breed resentment. I’m pretty sure it already is, and alt righters are leveraging this shit to radicalize a small but increasing amount of young men.
I had issues growing up. Some of that was related to women, but a lot of that was related to social isolation in general. When I say I’d probably kill myself in growing up as a boy in today’s world, I’m not joking.
‘no sympathy from me this time, get it from other men’ does not equal ‘writing off an entire gender’.
I get that you guys think you should have instant sympathy from me for some reason because some of you are feeling slightly suicidal. Let me illustrate for you in living color why this woman is having trouble having sympathy:
when I was a teen, I attempted suicide twice
because I was dealing with a pedophile father
after moving out and getting on my feet, I was sexually assaulted by the CEO of the startup I worked, had to leave and start over again
young men don’t need to be told that ‘women are writing them off’ because we aren’t rushing to comfort them (at cost to ourselves). They need to fucking adapt without women’s help, and they need to understand that women not having time to help them or be sympathetic to them anymore is a side-effect of women being fucked by the system too, not because of women ‘having too much freedom’.
At no point did anyone in this thread ask for you to comfort men.
I made a comment saying young men had it hard. You took it upon yourself to dismiss their struggle. Then you took it upon yourself to say their struggle doesn’t matter because women have it worse and anyone who brings it up is a sexist. then you took it upon yourself to blame young men today for sexism in society that existed before you were born.
I’m asking for basic empathy towards your fellow human being. I’m wasn’t even asking for you specially to have empathy, just society in general.
I am truly sorry for what you experience. However, misfortune isn’t a competition. Just because women have it worse doesn’t mean it’s okay for men to have their own problems.
This whole comment thread is taking place in the context of a guy who is responding to a meme about creepy pua teachings (you know, the thing that causes all the abuse I suffered) with ‘whaa men have it so hard’, an I’m being called unempathetic and accused of whataboutism. Thick irony fellas.
yeah I think the sad part to me is that it seems the majorty of the men aren’t realizing that the issue is the rich guy drank their milkshake. I’m extra angry in this comment chain, because I’m simultaneously being told in another comment that the reason men are slipping is that ‘women have too many resources’.
Men have a choice. Join with women and fight the rich, or blame women and let’s go to war.
So if it’s not an issue for men it shouldn’t be for women either, so why are you now complaining about having to deal with the issues you don’t think are a big deal?
Man I’d hate being a young man today.
Guys are put in a position where they have to put themselves out there and face rejection. it’s obviously becoming harder to connect with women given that a larger and larger percentage of men under 21 report being virgins every year.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it’s all your fault and you’re a shitty person.
I think I would have just ended up killing myself if I was a teenager today.
Feel like a higher rate of virgins could be a good sign that people aren’t feeling pressured to do things they don’t want to.
Virginity among women hasn’t climbed in nearly the same way, most men 21 and under also report having never been in a relationship, young men’s mental health has declined more than any other demographic, and incel culture seems to be on the rise.
I realllly don’t think this is a good thing.
Women were under the opposite pressure: to stay a virgin. Also, some people don’t want to be in relationships. In middle/high school, a lot of dating was obviously performative and they were only “dating” because of social pressures to do so. I’m no longer a teen, so I have no clue what the pressures are now. It could be the pressures are still there and more people are failing to meet them (hence, the incel community). I know they’re not completely gone, because I still sometimes hear about things like people dating because they want to have someone for prom or whatever.
Given how complex mental health is, trying to tie it to just one thing that correlates with it is not very convincing. Likewise, even if incel culture is on the rise, it seems much more reasonable to connect that to the growth of the internet and the niche communities it allows to fester and become visible.
Why is it when anyone tries to acknowledge any sort of issues men have some asshole tries to dismiss them?
A big part of this is moving everything online, it makes the available pool too wide and doesn’t allow for things to be forgotten as easily. Meeting people in person allows the awkward stuff to be forgotten and the highlights remembered. It can still go terribly wrong, but there was more meaningful interaction.
Yeah the world is super fucked up. I met almost all my previous hook ups (along with my GF) in real life.
Also according to my single friends it got infinitely worse during covid. Although I’m in my late twenties and almost everyone over thirty says it’s not super hard or anything. I don’t know if that’s a generational difference or old stereotypes are actually true.
I’m just glad that I grew up in a different era.
if i killed myself it isnt cause im not banging people rofl
My point was that the pickup artists who claim that they are helping or empowering young men are in fact not helping them to get a healthy attitude towards the other sex or enabling them to be in healthy relationships. Instead (most of) the tips of the pickup artists are in contra productive and will make you sad, angry and alone. I don’t think it’s in their interest that you get healthy relationships, because that would mean that they would loose a client.
And I also do not think it’s a good idea to suggest suicide to troubled teenagers.
I’m not suggesting suicide, I’m saying I would personally have not been able to manage as a boy in today’s world because of how fucked up this is.
The way I read it was that anyone who has trouble with women is doing something stupid like this. A lot of normal guys just don’t have a real chance these days.
Women had to adjust to be expected to work and do housework, still make less money per hour of labor, still represent the minority of ceos/leaders/comfy asshole billionaires, way more likely to be the ones in danger physically when picking a partner incorrectly, but go on guys about how life is so hard for you. Sounds like most of you are considerably less able to adapt than the women around you.
Seriously, I hate this shit. There are real issues men face and it’s always the same story.
“These issues don’t exist”
“Yeah these issues exist but women have it worse so they don’t matter. Also you’re a sexist POS”.
“LMAO men are suffering. Sucks to suck”
here’s why I honestly think it keeps going this way:
men keep seeking symapthy for this in public, from mixed gender groups including women.
women have no reason to be sympathetic to men in this case, as they have already had it shitty and these same men didn’t care when it wasn’t their problem
some of these same men seeking sympathy are actively blaming women and saying that the fix to their problems is to go back to the 1950s, when women were routinely lobotomized for men’s convenience (the guys pitching 1950s USA always leave that bit out).
I mean…
Writing off an entire gender because of the actions of some is absolutely insane. Men represent 50 percent of the population. In any other context that would be considered bigoted without a second thought.
Likewise, the idea that it’s the same men is straight up fiction. A teenager today was born in the 2000s. They have literally nothing to do with historical sexism.
Finally the “I had to suffer so it’s your turn” is beyond shitty. All that mentality is going to do is breed resentment. I’m pretty sure it already is, and alt righters are leveraging this shit to radicalize a small but increasing amount of young men.
I had issues growing up. Some of that was related to women, but a lot of that was related to social isolation in general. When I say I’d probably kill myself in growing up as a boy in today’s world, I’m not joking.
‘no sympathy from me this time, get it from other men’ does not equal ‘writing off an entire gender’.
I get that you guys think you should have instant sympathy from me for some reason because some of you are feeling slightly suicidal. Let me illustrate for you in living color why this woman is having trouble having sympathy:
This illustrates a scientific truth that we have less sympathy for people facing things that we’ve overcome ourselves, especially if we feel we’ve overcome a ‘harder’ version. Imagine how hard I laugh (or how much I want to smash something) when a guy says “women have it too easy now”.
young men don’t need to be told that ‘women are writing them off’ because we aren’t rushing to comfort them (at cost to ourselves). They need to fucking adapt without women’s help, and they need to understand that women not having time to help them or be sympathetic to them anymore is a side-effect of women being fucked by the system too, not because of women ‘having too much freedom’.
At no point did anyone in this thread ask for you to comfort men.
I made a comment saying young men had it hard. You took it upon yourself to dismiss their struggle. Then you took it upon yourself to say their struggle doesn’t matter because women have it worse and anyone who brings it up is a sexist. then you took it upon yourself to blame young men today for sexism in society that existed before you were born.
I’m asking for basic empathy towards your fellow human being. I’m wasn’t even asking for you specially to have empathy, just society in general.
I am truly sorry for what you experience. However, misfortune isn’t a competition. Just because women have it worse doesn’t mean it’s okay for men to have their own problems.
This whole comment thread is taking place in the context of a guy who is responding to a meme about creepy pua teachings (you know, the thing that causes all the abuse I suffered) with ‘whaa men have it so hard’, an I’m being called unempathetic and accused of whataboutism. Thick irony fellas.
Look I don’t mean to be callous but I don’t think that your dad molested you because he watched some PUA videos on YouTube.
You’re proving his point ffs
And you’re proving mine. Men whine about shit that women have had to shut up and deal with for centuries.
Still doesn’t mean it’s not an issue, not talkign about problems doesn’t mean they don’t exist. When you shut up about issues they won’t improve
yeah I think the sad part to me is that it seems the majorty of the men aren’t realizing that the issue is the rich guy drank their milkshake. I’m extra angry in this comment chain, because I’m simultaneously being told in another comment that the reason men are slipping is that ‘women have too many resources’.
Men have a choice. Join with women and fight the rich, or blame women and let’s go to war.
So if it’s not an issue for men it shouldn’t be for women either, so why are you now complaining about having to deal with the issues you don’t think are a big deal?